Change Does Come

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Last night I sat and read through all of my old entries (well at least the first ones).  I was really going through some things.  I lacked faith and confidence.  Not just in myself but in God.  Talking a big game was one thing….believing was another.  It amazes me how much I’ve grown since then.
I will attribute part of my growth to the church I have been attending.  World Changers Church International.  Dr. Creflo Dollar has opened my eyes so much.  I understand the Word.  I’m going to be honest and say that I didn’t care for him on t.v.  I felt that he was all about money….blah, blah, blah.  Just didn’t like the man.  Well, one Sunday I decided to visit and I haven’t been able to go to another church since.  It doesn’t even matter what he does outside of the pulpit.  I’m not going to let the actions of a person keep me from God.  And I feel that his church is where my “Daddy” is.  I realize that God does love me and if I believe that I should live as though He does.  Why walk around in fear?  God is not of fear.  He is of love.  
I used to be such a negative person.  I lacked patience.  Was always in a rush for things to happen when I was ready for them to happen.  Didn’t know that things happen when they are supposed to.  Every thing has its own time and season.  Not once during my periods of unemployment did my bills go unpaid.  My fridge was never empty.  The cat and I always had SOMEthing to eat.  Yet I worried.  I sewed my seeds by filling out applications, submitting my resume online and registering with various temp agencies.  Still nothing came.  I was hurt, frustrated and just ready to give it up and call it quits.  I refused to consider that JUST MAYBE the jobs I THOUGHT I wanted were NOT the ones for me.  The doors I wanted to walk through weren’t the ones that I was supposed to walk through.  I couldn’t fathom that.
The job I ended up with wasn’t what I wanted, but it was the one that was presented to me.  And you know what, this is the first job that I don’t hate waking up and going to.  I enjoy it.  I’ve never felt like this for a job.  I was always searching for the perfect job that I could go to without wanting to call in sick every week, find reasons not to go, coming up with excuses to leave and a job where I wouldn’t complain.  No, it’s not where I’m going to be forever.  It’s a “in the meantime” position.  There’s more out there for me.  I’m patiently waiting for my turn.  Let me tell y’all….since I have been working this job, I began tithing.  The pay was a little less than I was looking for, but God has supplied all of my needs, even some wants.  I’ve been tithing every paycheck.  Something I never wanted to do before.  I had to come to the conclusion that that is God’s due.  How could I continue to ask Him for more when I can’t give Him back what He gave to me in the first place?  I couldn’t.  
Since I’ve changed my way of thinking and my actions, I have thoroughly progressed.  I’m positive.  I refuse to surround myself with negativity.  I’m not the one bringing everyone else’s moral down anymore.  That feels good.  I’m proud of myself.  
Look at me running off at the mouth.  Guess I had a few things to get off my chest.  I still have a lot more to say, but I’m scared that my computer is going to freeze up and cause me to lose all that I typed.  That’s why I haven’t been posting much anymore.  Alright, gotta go finish writing my book. 
Y’all be easy.  Smooches.

Perspectives

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