God’s Plans vs. My Plans

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

About a month ago I made plans to visit the place I moved from almost two years ago. I was headed back to Atlanta for quite a few reasons. I wanted to visit some spas and medi spas for a little job shadowing, practice my waxing skills on some friends, visit friends I haven’t seen in a while, do some shopping, and just have a nice little vacation after a full-time schedule in school. I even wanted to include meeting with a literary agent. Maybe a week before my trip I learned that Atlanta wasn’t big on having non-licensed estheticians come into their facilities for shadowing purposes. One spa even told me that they don’t want me coming in there stealing their secrets…WTH? That plan quickly went out the window.

Real quick, let me just say that I was to stay with my ex while in Atlanta. He wanted to be a friend and opened his door longer than I initially asked for. Even though the job shadowing did not pan out, he still said it was cool to stay with him.

For the past two weeks my back has been giving me grief. I thought I may have stressed it during my workouts but I’ve been working out like that for a minute with no problems like the current. During my drive on Saturday, my back continued to be bothersome. I couldn’t wait to get to my destination and just chill. My back began feeling a little better. Welllllll, while coming home from lunch on Sunday with a dear friend, I sneezed and felt like my lower back had exploded. I couldn’t move for minutes. When I finally did, I was in excruciating pain. I cried and snotted my way all the way from my friend’s car to the front door in what felt like hours. Never feeling pain like that before, even after my initial injury, I seriously contemplated going to the emergency room. Not even 24 hours into my vacation I’m incapacitated. How about that?!

I called my ex at work to see if he had some meds. I was very vague about what happened because unbeknowst to me BEFORE the trip, he was seeing someone pretty seriously and had plans to stay over her house that night. With my pride in battle with reality, I ended up telling him what happened. I cried over the phone. I knew there was nothing he could do from work, but I still needed what I felt to be a friend. He told me he’d be home instead of going to his new friend’s house. But of course, that never happened. That night my pain increased. I ended up sneezing again (damn these allergies) and it took me straight down to the floor where I was stuck for a few minutes. Thank God for strength and angels because I was pretty hapless being there all alone. The ex came home that morning to take me to urgent care. True he didn’t have to do that, but when I really needed him, he was NOwhere to be found. I found out that I had dislocated my lumbar vertebrae, got two steroid shots in both butt cheeks, and was sent home with pain meds to wait until I could get scheduled for an MRI.

Now, talking about the ex was a little off the moral of this story; however, it is related in its own way.

As I said earlier, I had all of these plans to come to Atlanta. Other than one lunch outing, I have not done ANY thing as planned. I wonder what was it about my plans that did not coincide with God’s plans. Thank God the job shadowing was a no-go because then I would’ve had to call them back to cancel. Thank God the literary agent wasn’t able to meet because I would’ve had to cancel. But why did I have to become incapacitated, stuck up in a place that used to be filled with love but is now occupied by a neglectful silence, dependent on someone who can’t be depended on? What was it about my plans? Was I disobedient in coming here in the first place? I am seriously at a loss here. My only consolation is that God HAS a plan. His plans for me were made before the foundation of the world. He knew this was going to happen before I was even born. I just need to know why, especially now that I don’t know how or when I can get home since I drove here.

There’s so much more I want to say. So much more back story. So much more present story. Y’all just keep me in your prayers.

Blessings & Prosperity!

This is Jewells signing out…

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